The Bachelor and His Skanky Women

I really like writing down the things that my friends and I say while watching The Bachelor. I must say…we are rather funny. Again I’m sorry for the length. And if you want to know where I got inspired you just click here. So here we go:

 

-The girls we don’t like are Courtney and Blakely…except Blakely has been calm, but she’s still a hooker.

-Who is this Jamie girl?!

-That’s a big boat!

-He’s wearing some short shorts….he LOVES those short shorts

-Pretty cute? He’s a pervert

-HUMAN SACRIFICE!

-Sacrifice Courtney…

-Look at Lindzi’s face!

-Ew…that’s not attractive

-I’m pretty sure no one could pull off a loin cloth

-Ew I don’t like him!!!!

-They have to constantly block her out

-Your skirt? YOUR TOP!

-SHE WAS NAKED!

-Shallow Ben

-She does this so he’ll feel bad for her and give her the rose

-I would punch her in the face

-Who is that? Oh it’s Jamie…she’s starting to talk and be a part of the show.

-CREEP! She probably has a knife!

-It’s getting hot in here…let’s take off all of our clothes

-Hola?!

-If I was Ben, I would ask her to leave

-I hope she falls…please fall.

-You’re pretty cool?

-Oh shut your face!

-Where was Ben during all of this?

-HA! Courtney! EAT THAT!

-He better not come.

-She needs to just go to sleep.

-All she cares about is physical stuff.

-Wait where’s four?

-How old are we? Prom?

-Does she have cankles?

-Little do you know…Ben does want that.

-This is the worst 2 on 1 date I have ever seen.

-BYE BLAKELY!

-I would do the same thing…

-Oh Casey….what are you wearing?

-There is no point in talking to her….or holding her hand.

-Does that cat only have one ear?

-What is she wearing?

-When has he ever said y’all?

-Ugh…we thought someone died!

-I’m sure someone on the crew is saying get out of here!

-She does still love him.

-Why is this the big thing?

-This is dumb.

-They probably told him to just act surprised.

-Too late…just move on.

-Brush your hair!

-You own a brush! You are on t.v.!!!

-Cue the waterworks…

-Less crying and more talking!

-*talking for Ben* I’m pissed! I just sent Blakely home!

-*talking for Ben* You didn’t skinny dip with me…you didn’t dirty dance with me!

-She needs to stop talking.

-This is why she needs to go to therapy.

-And NOW he is trying to make it better?! YOU ARE THE LOVE WRECKER!

-He doesn’t care…he’s just doing this for ratings.

-Ya…the camera man is not going to talk back to you.

-Michael probably wanted show time, and he still didn’t get any.

-We don’t even know what she is saying…

-What does prude even mean!?

-Oh no…that is awful.

-Oh my word…stop talking.

-Come on Ben…we all know you like it.

-She is so me! I giggle when boys kiss me.

-You don’t talk about it…she needs to just go.

-I think she has had a little too much to drink.

-Oh my gosh she has SEX hair!

-Well…now we know who Jamie is. Nice of you to join the show.

-Jamie is just super awkward!

-It’s alright…we didn’t even know she was on the show.

-You just gave him a lap dance…and then tried to teach him how to kiss.

-Was Courtney just in Belize too?

-Ew….

-Welp…that was really awkward.

 

xoxo

Chels

p.s.

if you want to see me on another blog click here.

Monday Madness

Hello there lovelies! Sorry it’s been a couple of days. My life has been a little bit crazy. A big thank you to my friends for keeping me somewhat sane over the weekend. Today was a good way to start the week. Why? Oh because Yogurtland tweeted that they were serving FREE YOGURT from 4-7 while supplies last. Um hello….FREE YOGURT?! Of course I was totally there! The line was out the door, and there were tons of screaming kids (definitely not a fan of them). So if you don’t have a twitter: You my dear friend are MISSING OUT! So many businesses post specials through tweeting that you don’t want to miss out on. So here are the ever so wanted pictures:

And we had a total photo bomber…except she was nice and smiled (the before picture).

xoxo

Chels

A New Found Love

So this post is going to be short, sweet and to the point. I have completely fallen in love with my friend Chloe’s voice. She has a youtube channel with her sister Olivia called candO103. They are such talented girls, and of course they are absolutely gorgeous. Check it out and subscribe to them because trust me…you will not be disappointed.

xoxo

Chels

The Truth

Image

So I love sitting in the back of classrooms. Not because I want to talk or hide from the teacher, but because I like to see what other people are doing during class (I’m a creeper…I know). Let me tell ya folks…INTERESTING things happen during class. I have seen it all. For example: checking email, reading tweets, Pinterest and stalking people’s Facebook pages. The weirdest thing I have seen is some guy, who looked like he was in his late 20’s, watching his football highlights from HIGH SCHOOL on YouTube. Umm…sorry, but that was like 10 years ago. Can you please just move on? Another one, that comes in second, is the girl that stalks (i’m guessing) her crush, or ex’s, Facebook page EVERY class period. The kissing pictures are getting quite annoying, and I’m pretty sure the stalker girl is furious. So why does she do it? I really just don’t know. My favorite thing to watch people girls do is get on Pinterest. And for all of you readers who have a Pinterest should know why I love it. It’s that magical moment that they find the CUTEST outfit or a fun tutorial, and they click on it. It takes them to a blog page. And then all of a sudden it’s been thirty minutes, and they look up from their computer to screen to realize that the teacher has stopped lecturing, and everyone is packing up. OR when someone finds an account with the same interests as themselves and they pin EVERYTHING. I have always wanted to tap them on the shoulder and congratulate them because I know the feeling. It has happened to me twice. So a warning to everyone in my classes: I watch what you do on your computer.

xoxo

Chels

Image via Pinterest

For the Love of Bachelor Ben and Doughnuts

What do college girls do on Monday nights? Well…we watch t.v. with all of our girlfriends. Why? Because Monday nights are FILLED with good t.v. shows. Actually, a lot of it is “trash t.v.,” but somehow we are still addicted to it…? Last night I decided to write down some of the most memorable things my group of friends said during The Bachelor. This is going to get lengthy, but it should give you a good laugh. But who are we kidding? I crack myself up on a daily basis. Anyways….here we go:

-Blakely is a hooker!

-Why is this so intense?

-You’ve been with him all day…calm down.

-What is this commercial!?

-People are so emotional-I can’t handle it.

-*group all at once* aw I love Lindz.

-I wonder what Ben thinks when he watches these.

-They have to fuzz her out already!?

-Ew…that MOUTH!

-I will hate you for forever.

-If I was on this show, Courtney would be missing.

-Courtney needs to shut up.

-Her face is a total Myspace picture.

-Is that Courtney on the small boat?

-His hair is just too long.

*intermission while I went and bought some doughnuts…yumm*

-Where’s the flood Ben?

-Her bra is awkward.

-Is she just walking into the water?

-I like this song!-don’t ruin it…

-He threw the rose in the water!-HOW ROMANTIC!

-Oh Blakely…that mouth of yours.

-Courtney definitely has turtle lips.

-She keeps “winning,” but her lips are losing.

-There are obviously no rules.

-Oh..there ARE rules. Courtney is just breaking them.

-She just needs s-e-x because it’s been awhile…

-EW! Did she just scratch her butt?

-Evil girl plus horny boy equals bad news bears.

-Who says rad? How old are you?!

-Awkward party of one.

-Oh no…not again!

-What is with that random lamp?

-Just stop bringing it up.

-Why is she being dumb?

-WHO IS JAMIE?!

-You are on national television. Get it together.

-And cue Blakely crying.

-What?!?! Ben picked Emily over Oklahoma!?!?!

-She should have just gotten nakie with him.

-That awkward moment when you forget the gender of the bachelor.

So there you have it folks. We LOVE commenting on the crazy awkwardness of The Bachelor. I hope you laughed just as much as I did.

xoxo

Chels

p.s.

I got the idea for this post here

 

nine[teen]

Today marks the nineteenth birthday of one of my best friends, Carly. I met Carly in the 6th grade. She is a sailor. (And I don’t mean one of those pretend nautical girls that just wear anchors and rope on everything they own. I’m sure you know the kind I’m talking about.) Her family takes sailing trips where they live on their boat for months at a time. Pretty cool stuff huh? I’m sorry boys…she is off of the dating market at the time being. Sadly, she lives back in my home land [okielahoma], so I only get to see her on those somewhat rare occasions that I fly home. The upside to this lil predicament is that we both have skype, facebook, twitter, instagram, and texting. I talk to Carly almost everyday. Whether it’s raving about a cute boy, or embarrassing things that have happened, we never really skip a moment in each other’s lives. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beautiful best friend. I can’t wait to see her again!

xoxo

Chels

Sunday Shout Out

Here is a little Sunday shout out to one of my best friends Michelle (a.k.a. Meesh/Meeshy).

She’s a cute California girl that I met this summer. We have pretty much become inseparable over the past few months. Meesh just recently got an iphone4s and I feel like I am getting replaced (just kidding), although I do love texting her with emojis. What’s an emoji you ask? They’re those cute little icons that you can put in your texts, but only people using an iphone can see them. Example:

Michelle has definitely been there for me through thick and thin. We aren’t roommates, but maybe in the near future we will be sharing a quaint lil apartment that is filled with a lot of pink (her favorite color) and a lot of laughing.

xoxo,

Chels

 

<center><a href=”http://awkwardgirls.blogspot.com/2012/01/jean-shirt-challenge.html&#8221; target=”_blank”><img alt=”Awkward Girls” src=”http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c362/NielsenGirl/jeanshirts.jpg”/></a></center&gt;