The Bachelor and His Skanky Women

I really like writing down the things that my friends and I say while watching The Bachelor. I must say…we are rather funny. Again I’m sorry for the length. And if you want to know where I got inspired you just click here. So here we go:


-The girls we don’t like are Courtney and Blakely…except Blakely has been calm, but she’s still a hooker.

-Who is this Jamie girl?!

-That’s a big boat!

-He’s wearing some short shorts….he LOVES those short shorts

-Pretty cute? He’s a pervert


-Sacrifice Courtney…

-Look at Lindzi’s face!

-Ew…that’s not attractive

-I’m pretty sure no one could pull off a loin cloth

-Ew I don’t like him!!!!

-They have to constantly block her out

-Your skirt? YOUR TOP!


-Shallow Ben

-She does this so he’ll feel bad for her and give her the rose

-I would punch her in the face

-Who is that? Oh it’s Jamie…she’s starting to talk and be a part of the show.

-CREEP! She probably has a knife!

-It’s getting hot in here…let’s take off all of our clothes


-If I was Ben, I would ask her to leave

-I hope she falls…please fall.

-You’re pretty cool?

-Oh shut your face!

-Where was Ben during all of this?

-HA! Courtney! EAT THAT!

-He better not come.

-She needs to just go to sleep.

-All she cares about is physical stuff.

-Wait where’s four?

-How old are we? Prom?

-Does she have cankles?

-Little do you know…Ben does want that.

-This is the worst 2 on 1 date I have ever seen.


-I would do the same thing…

-Oh Casey….what are you wearing?

-There is no point in talking to her….or holding her hand.

-Does that cat only have one ear?

-What is she wearing?

-When has he ever said y’all?

-Ugh…we thought someone died!

-I’m sure someone on the crew is saying get out of here!

-She does still love him.

-Why is this the big thing?

-This is dumb.

-They probably told him to just act surprised.

-Too late…just move on.

-Brush your hair!

-You own a brush! You are on t.v.!!!

-Cue the waterworks…

-Less crying and more talking!

-*talking for Ben* I’m pissed! I just sent Blakely home!

-*talking for Ben* You didn’t skinny dip with me…you didn’t dirty dance with me!

-She needs to stop talking.

-This is why she needs to go to therapy.

-And NOW he is trying to make it better?! YOU ARE THE LOVE WRECKER!

-He doesn’t care…he’s just doing this for ratings.

-Ya…the camera man is not going to talk back to you.

-Michael probably wanted show time, and he still didn’t get any.

-We don’t even know what she is saying…

-What does prude even mean!?

-Oh no…that is awful.

-Oh my word…stop talking.

-Come on Ben…we all know you like it.

-She is so me! I giggle when boys kiss me.

-You don’t talk about it…she needs to just go.

-I think she has had a little too much to drink.

-Oh my gosh she has SEX hair!

-Well…now we know who Jamie is. Nice of you to join the show.

-Jamie is just super awkward!

-It’s alright…we didn’t even know she was on the show.

-You just gave him a lap dance…and then tried to teach him how to kiss.

-Was Courtney just in Belize too?


-Welp…that was really awkward.





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7 thoughts on “The Bachelor and His Skanky Women

  1. oh my gosh — i am right there with you. On both Blakely and Courtney. The only reason Ben MAY like Courtney is because she is naked half of the time. {which won’t work out on the long run, obviously} ha.

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